A more humane mikado never did in Japan exist
To nobody second and certainly reckoned a true philanthropist
It is my most humane endeavour to make, to some extent, each evil liver a hurling river of innocent merriment.
My object oh sublime I will achieve in time
To make the punishment fit the crime, the punishment fit the crime.
And make each prisoner pent, unwillingly represent, a source of innocent
merriment, of innocent merriment.
The smoking man who puffs like a chimney, and don’t care where Ashes are
tossed. I’ll tiethe offender to hose mobile fenders and make him inhale the
exhaust.
Colossal bois who read the whodunit, and glad that the butler’s the crook,
I’ll give him a mystery by Agatha Christie with no final page to the book
Etc